State of shock...

On Friday i had a very, very shocking experience. So, as i said earlier, i archive tapes at the tv station i work at. I go to the librarians and we decide what is relevant, that we may be asked for footage of. Like anything doing with elections because next year is election year, so I am prepared with footage that may be requested. Of course i have been working on a lot of stories from Iraq and the middle east.
I had this mis-mash of footage from Afghanistan. Some of it was about the poppy cultivation, some tapes were the drug smugglers i mentioned in the first post. I was emailing my sister about how fast i was burning though these tapes and that I was happy they were going well. And then it happened. I put in tape 5, labeled the log and started watching. First some Afghan people running across a road, some toward a bigger building, some in the other direction, then a quick cut and BAMMMM..no warning, was the --- um---well i will say it is what a suicide bomber looks like AFTER the bomb went off.. SHOCKING!!! that's the only way i can explain it. The next shot was even more shocking when I could start to identify parts of a face. Needless to say, i quickly turned off the monitor, ripped off my headphones and ran away from my desk. I delt as if i was going to get sick and went to get some air. After talking to my boyfriend and gettng some air, i went back to my desk. I just couldn't bring myself to turn it back on. After sitting there for a few minutes thinking, i decided not to finish that tape and move on to the rest. I quickly completed the box (aside from the two tapes labeled "suicide bombings") turned off all my equipment and left for the day. I was home by noon. My boyfriend needed to run some errands, so i went along for the ride. It wasnt long before i realized that i was still in shock and letting it out in anger toward traffic, songs on the radio and anything else i could cuss about. We were heading back home when i asked if we could stop by Dairy Queen. Something about a basic hot fudge sundae that will set a bad day straight.